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发表于 2008-3-2 20:38  资料 个人空间 短消息 
西洋幽默语录(之九十七)

西洋幽默语录(之九十七)

海仑罗兰 (ROWLAND, Helen), 1875-1950
美国幽默专栏作者和作家

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he’ll fall asleep before you finish saying it.
结婚前, 男人会躺在床上整夜不眠的想着你讲的话; 结婚后, 在你没讲完之前他己入睡.

From the day on which she weighs 140, the chief excitement of a woman’s life consists in spotting women who are fatter than she is.
从她体重一百四十那天开始, 一个女人一生最兴奋的事是寻找比她还重的女人.

The hardest task of a girl’s life is to prove to a man that his intentions are serious.
一个女人一生最困难的一件事是, 怎样去求证一个男人, 他的心意是认真的.

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
丈夫是情人抽掉神经后剩下的.

It’s as hard to get a man to stay home after you’ve married him, as it was to get him to go home before you married him.
你很难让一个男人呆在家里, 在你和他结婚之后, 就如你很难叫他回家, 在你和他结婚之前.

It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.
一个女人花二十年扶养她的儿子长大成人, 而另一个女人花二十分钟使他成为一个傻子.

A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the forth, accepts the fifth – and endures all the rest.
男人抢到了第一个吻, 恳请第二个, 要求第三个, 取得第四个, 接受第五个 - 然后忍受所有其他的.

A man will joyfully pay a lawyer five hundred dollars for untying the knot that he begrudged a clergyman fifty dollars for tying.
男人高兴付与律师五百元以解除婚姻, 却吝啬五十元给牧师主持结婚.

Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty, and a life of luxury into a necessity.
婚姻是个奇迹, 它把一个吻从快乐转变成一种责任, 而且把人生从奢侈转变成一种需要.

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.
不要相信离开太远的丈夫, 也不要相信靠得太近的单身汉.

No man can understand why a woman should prefer a good reputation to a good time.
男人不能了解为何女人宁要名誉而不要一个好的时光.

To a woman the first kiss is just the end of the beginning; to a man it is the beginning of the end.
对一个女人而言, 初吻只不过是从结束走向开始, 而对一个男人而言, 则是开始走向结束.

When mother-in-law comes in at the door, love flies out at the window.
当丈母娘从前门进来, 爱情从窗口飞出去.

When you see a married couple coming down the street, the one who is two or three steps ahead is the one that’s mad.
当你看到一对夫妻上街, 那个走在前面三两步的人是个疯子.

A woman marries the first time for love, the second time for companionship, the third time for support, and the rest of the time just from habit.
一个女人结婚, 第一次为了爱情, 第二次为了作伴, 第三次为了供养, 而其他的时间只是习惯.

When a girl marries she exchanges the attention of many men for the inattention of one.
当一个女人结婚, 她将自己从众人的焦点, 拿去交换给一个对她不在意的男人.

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