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2007-8-22   西洋幽默语录之017

汤姆斯•布朗 (BROWN, Thomas Edward) ,1830 - 1897
Manx (Man 之岛) 诗人

•        A rich man’s joke is always funny.

汤姆斯•布朗爵士 (BROWNE, Sir Thomas) ,1605 - 1682

•        The long habit of living indisposeth us for dying.
         由於长期对活着的习惯, 以致令我们不想要死亡.

•        We all labour against our own cure, for death is the cure of all diseases.
         我们都不为自己的治疗而努力, 因为死亡是治疗所有疾病的良方.

•        The world, which took but six days to make, is like to take us six thousand years to make out.
         世界只用六天造成, 却花了我们六千年去了解.

约翰•布灿 (BUCHAN, John) ,1875 - 1940

•        An atheist is a man who has no  ...

2007-8-22 13:13 - 苏杭 - 1427 查看 - 3 评论

2007-8-21   西洋幽默语录之016

保罗•布尔杰 (BOURGET, Paul) ,1852 - 1935

•        The proof that experience teaches us nothing is that the end of one love does not prevent us from beginning another.
         经验没给予人吸取教训, 可从我们在中断一段爱情之后, 并不防碍我们开始另一段爱情得到证实.

法兰西斯•布拉德利 (BRADLEY, Francis Herbert) ,1846 - 1924

•        Everything comes to him who waits – among other things, death.
         他等久就有 – 所有东西, 包括死亡.

•        His mind is open; yes, it is so open that nothing is retained; ideas simply pass through him.
         他的心是开放的; 是的, 太过开放以致不能保留任何东西; 所有的思考完全离他而去.

•        Metaphysic is the finding of bad reasons for what we believe on instinct.

2007-8-21 11:04 - 苏杭 - 1611 查看 - 9 评论

2007-8-20   西洋幽默语录之015

乔士•比灵斯 (BILLINGS, Josh) ,1818 - 1885

•        The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.
         要说服一个傻子他是错的, 最好的办法就是让他以他自己的方式去做.       

•        Confess your sins to the Lord, and you will be forgiven; confess them to men, and you will be laughed at.
         向上帝忏悔你的罪过而你将得到宽恕; 向人忏悔而你将被取笑.

•        Experience increases our wisdom but doesn’t reduce our follies.
         经验能增加我们的智慧, 但并不能减少我们的愚昧.

•        If the animals had reason, they would act just as ridiculous as we men folks do.
         假如动物能讲理, 它们会和我们人类一样做出荒诞的事.

•        When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I g ...

2007-8-20 13:08 - 苏杭 - 1483 查看 - 1 评论

2007-8-17   西洋幽默语录之014

安布罗斯•比尔斯 (BIERCE, Ambrose) ,1842 - 1914(?)

•        Education: that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
         教育: 对聪明者要公开, 而对愚笨者要隐瞒他们对事的缺乏了解.

•        Egotist: a person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
         自我主义者: 一个品味低的人, 对自己比对他人更有兴趣.

•        Empty wine bottles have a bad opinion of women.

•        Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
         经验可以看成是一种公开表示谴责自己年轻时犯的错, 以为老年解套.

•        Faith: belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of ...

2007-8-17 21:47 - 苏杭 - 1512 查看 - 1 评论

2007-8-16   西洋幽默语录之013

安布罗斯•比尔斯 (BIERCE, Ambrose) ,1842 - 1914(?)

•        Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
         戒酒者: 一个意志薄弱的人, 经不起拒绝享受的诱惑.

•        Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slightly when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous.
         朋友: 一种友谊的程度, 如果对方是贫穷或寞寞无闻称之为冷淡, 但如果他富有和出名则称之为亲密.

•        Acquaintance: a person whom we know well enough to borrow money from, but not well enough to lend to.
         朋友: 一个我们熟到可以向他借钱, 但并不熟到可以借钱给他的人.

•        Admiration: our polite recognition of another man’s resemblance to ourselves.
         欣赏: 对和我们相彷佛的人所 ...

2007-8-16 11:44 - 苏杭 - 1372 查看 - 1 评论

2007-8-14   西洋幽默语录之012

阿诺•班内特 (BENNETT, Arnold) ,1867 - 1931

•        God taste is better than bad taste, but bad taste is better than no taste at all.
         好的品味比坏的品味好, 但坏的品味却比没有品味好.

•        A cause may be inconvenient, but it’s magnificent. It’s like champagne or high shoes and one must be prepared to suffer for it.
         理想可能带来不便, 但它却是很伟大的. 它就好像香槟酒和高跟鞋, 人要有心理准备去忍受它.

•        Being a husband is a whole-time job. That is why so many husbands fail. They cannot give their entire attention to it.
         丈夫是个全职的工作. 这就是为什么有这么多的丈夫失败的原因. 他们无法全心全意的去做它.

•        His opinion of himself, having once risen, remained a “set fair”.
         他对自己的评价, 自从 ...

2007-8-14 20:43 - 苏杭 - 1422 查看 - 1 评论

2007-8-13   西洋幽默语录之011

麦克斯·毕尔邦爵士 (BEERBOHM, Sir Max) ,1872 - 1956

•        I was a modest, good-humoured boy. It is Oxford that has made me insufferable.
         我以前是个谦虚和快乐的孩子. 那是牛津造成我这样面目可憎的.

•        People are either born hosts or born guests.
         人不是天生作主人, 就是天生作客人.

•        To give an accurate and exhaustive account of that period would need a far less brilliant pen than mine.
         要给予那年代一个准确和充分的描述, 只需一支远比我还逊的笔.

•        “After all”, as a pretty girl once said to me, “women are a sex by themselves, so to speak”.
         “究竟” 有一回一个漂亮的姑娘对我说, “女人是属於她们自己的一种性别,可以这么说”.

阿法拉•倍恩 (BEHN, Aphra) ,1640 - 1689
英国剧作家、小 ...

2007-8-13 22:42 - 苏杭 - 1530 查看 - 1 评论

2007-8-10   西洋幽默语录之010

伯纳德•巴鲁齐 (BARUCH, Bernard Mannes) ,1870 - 1965

•        To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am.
         对我而言, 老年常是比我现在的年龄大十五岁.

费列德•巴森 (BASON, Fred) ,1907生

•        His wife is so mean that if he gave her a crutch, she’d go and break her bloody leg.
         他的老婆心好坏, 如果他给她一支拐杖, 她会去打断她那可恶的腿.

皮埃尔•波德莱尔  (BAUDELAIRE, Pierre Charles) ,1821 - 1867

•        Life is like a hospital in which every patient is possessed by the desire to change his bed.
         人生如医院, 每个病人都鬼迷心窍, 有想换床位的念头.

•        A sweetheart is a bottle of wine; a wife is a wine bottle.
         爱人如瓶酒; 老婆如 ...

2007-8-10 16:39 - 苏杭 - 1432 查看 - 1 评论

2007-8-9   西洋幽默语录之009

詹姆斯•巴利 (BARRIE, James Mathew) ,1860 - 1937

•        Every man who is high up loves to think that he has done it all himself; and his wife smiles, and lets it goes at that.
         每个大男人都爱吹说这全是他一个人的功劳; 而做妻子的总是笑笑, 就让它这样吧.

•        The God to whom little boys say their prayers has a face very like their mother’s.
         每个小孩子向上帝的祈祷中, 都有一张和他们的母亲非常相似的脸.

•        Have you ever noticed that many jewels make women either incredibly fat or incredibly thin?
         你有没有发现到, 许多珠宝让女人看来, 不是难以置信的胖, 就是难以置信的瘦.

•        I am not young enough to know everything.

•        The printing press is either the greatest bles ...

2007-8-9 16:12 - 苏杭 - 1390 查看 - 1 评论

2007-8-8   西洋幽默语录之008

巴尔扎克 (BALZAC, Honore de) ,1799 - 1850

•        Believe everything you hear about the world; nothing is too impossibly bad.
         全然相信你听到的关於这个世界的一切; 就没有什么太坏的事情不可能发生的了.

•        Friendships last when each friend thinks he has a slightly superiority over the other.
         友谊可以持久, 如果每个人都认为, 他较他的朋友要优越一些.

•        A good husband is never the first to go to sleep at night or the last to awake in the morning.
         一个好的丈夫从来不在晚上第一个睡觉, 或在早上最后一个起身.

•        A husband should always know what is the matter with his wife, for she always knows what is not.
         一个丈夫必须懂得他的太太怎么了, 因为她时常不知怎么了.

•        I do not regard a broker as a member of the ...

2007-8-8 13:29 - 苏杭 - 1420 查看 - 1 评论

2007-8-7   西洋幽默语录之007

华特•巴佐霍特 (BAGEHOT, Walter) ,1826 - 1877

•        The cure of admiring the House of Lords is to go and look at it.
         要治疗你对上议院的羡慕, 只要到那里去看一下.

•        The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

•        The greatest mistake is trying to be more agreeable than you can be.

•        An inability to stay quiet is one of the most conspicuous failings of mankind.

•        It is good to be without vice, but it is not good to be without temptations.
         没有罪恶当然好, 但没有诱惑可不好.

•        Men who do not make advance ...

2007-8-7 10:54 - 苏杭 - 1425 查看 - 1 评论

2007-8-6   西洋幽默语录之006

法兰西斯•培根(BACON, Francis, Lord Verulam), 1561–1626

•        The French are wiser than they seem, the Spaniards seem wiser than they are.
         法国人实际比外表聪明, 西班牙人外表比实际聪明.

•        Silence is the virtue of fools, so... if you are wise, you are fool; if you are fool, you are wise.
         沉默是傻瓜的美德, 因此…如果你聪明,你就是傻瓜;如果你是傻瓜,你就是聪明.

阿瑟•巴尔 (BAER, Arthur) ,1886 - 1969

•        Do incubator chickens love their mother?

•        A good neighbour is a fellow who smiles at you over the back fence but doesn’t climb over it.

•        He doesn’t remember any silent da ...

2007-8-6 11:24 - 苏杭 - 1324 查看 - 1 评论

2007-8-3   西洋幽默语录之005

格兰特•阿伦 (ALLEN, Grant) ,1848 - 1899

•        All men are born free and unequal.
         所有的人生来自由, 但不平等.

•        Cockroaches think that kitchens were created to afford a convenient home for cockroaches.

阿纳查西斯(ANACHASIS), 公元前600年

•        The market is a place set apart where men may deceive each other.

约翰•阿拔诺特 (ARBUTHNOT, John),1667 - 1735

•        All political parties die at last of swallowing their own lies.
         所有政党最终将自食其果, 亡於它们自己的谎言.

•        Biography is one of the new terrors of death.

2007-8-3 13:57 - 苏杭 - 1413 查看 - 1 评论

2007-8-2   西洋幽默语录之004

佛列德•阿伦 (ALLEN, Fred),1894 - 1956

•        Advertising agency: eighty-five per cent confusion and fifteen per cent commission.
         广告代理: 八十五巴仙混淆, 十五巴仙佣金.

•        California is a fine place to live in – if you happen to be an orange.
         加里富尼亚是个好居处 - 如果你刚好是一粒橙.

•        A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
         会议是集合一群重要人物, 他们单独做不了什么事, 但在一起可以决定没什么事可以做.

•        He is so narrow-minded that if he fell on a pin, it would blind him in both eyes.
         他的胸襟是那么的狭隘, 以致他若跌倒在地碰到一支针, 就以为会弄瞎他的双眼.

•        He pasted picture postcards around ...

2007-8-2 12:05 - 苏杭 - 1441 查看 - 1 评论

2007-8-1   西洋幽默语录之003

阿佛列德•埃特勒 (ADLER, Alfred) ,1870 - 1937

•        It is easier to fight one’s principles than to live up to them.

路易士•阿加西兹 (AGASSIZ, Louis J.R.) ,1807 - 1873

•        I cannot afford to waste my time making money.

詹姆斯•阿给 (AGATE, James) ,1877 - 1947

•        The capacity for genius and the capacity for getting that genius recognised are two quite different things.

•        The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest about it.

•        The ...

2007-8-1 10:57 - 苏杭 - 1540 查看 - 1 评论

2007-7-30   西洋幽默语录之002

乔治•阿德 (ADE, George) ,1866 - 1944

•        After being turned down by numerous publishers, he decided to write for posterity.
         经过书商无数次的拒绝后, 他决定为后代而写作.

•        Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
         任何人都可赢, 除非刚巧有第二个报名者.

•        Don’t try to marry entire family or it may work out that way.
         不要尝试和全家人结婚, 否则结果正是如此.

•        Early to bed and early to rise, and you’ll meet very few of our best people.
         早睡早起, 你将难得遇到几位最好的人.

•        A friend who is very near and dear may in time become as useless as a relative.
         一个最亲近的朋友, 在关健时刻, 可能和一个亲戚一样无用.

•        A good folly is worth whatever ...

2007-7-30 11:59 - 苏杭 - 1831 查看 - 8 评论

2007-7-29   西洋幽默语录之001

富兰克林•亚当斯 (ADAMS, Franklin Pierce) ,1881 - 1960

•        Accustomed as I am to public speaking, I know the fertility of it.
         由於我对公众演讲的熟习, 我知道它是无益的.

•        The best part of the fiction in many novels is the notice that the characters are all purely imaginary.
         在许多小说中, 最好的虚构部分, 可以注意到, 人物纯粹都是想像出来的.

•        The best you get is an even break.

•        Count that day won when, turning on its axis, this earth imposes no additional taxes.
         当地球自转一周而没有强加任何附加税, 那一天就算你赢了.

•        Don’t tell me what you dream’d last night for I’ve been reading Freud.
         不要告诉我你昨晚作了个梦, 因为我正在看 ...

2007-7-29 20:43 - 苏杭 - 1389 查看 - 9 评论

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