西洋幽默语录(之七十五)
乔治利兹登堡 (LICHTENBERG, Georg Christoph), 1742-1799
德国物理学家, 讽刺作家, 和杂文作者
Language originated before philosophy, and that’s what’s wrong with philosophy.
语言先产生於哲学, 而这就是为什么哲学有问题.
What a blessing it would be， if we could open and shut our ears as easily as we do our eyes.
假如我们能够如我们的眼睛一样, 开和关我们的耳朵, 那真是天赐之美.
What astonished him was that cats should have two holes cut in their skins at exactly the same places where their eyes were.
让他吃惊的是猫皮肤上开的两个洞竟然恰好就在它们双眼的地方.
林肯 (LINCOLN, Abraham), 1809-1865
美国总统
God must have loved the plain people; he made so many of them.
上帝应该是爱平凡的人; 他创造了那么多这样的人.
For people who like that kind of a book that is the kind of a book they will like.
对於那些喜欢这种书的人, 就是这种书他们喜欢.
I don’t know who my grandfather was; I am much more concerned to know what his grandson will be.
我不知道我的祖父是谁; 我比较关心想知道的是, 他的孙子将会是怎么样的.
If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please ring me some coffee.
如果这是咖啡, 请拿些茶给我; 但如果这是茶, 请拿些咖啡给我.
It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
这是我过去的经验, 人若没有恶习, 他们的道德也不怎样.
It’s a good rule never to send a mouse to catch a skunk or a polliwog to tackle a whale.
这是好的规矩, 绝不要派老鼠去捉臭鼬, 蝌蚪去擒鲸鱼.
Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory.
婚姻不是天堂, 也不是地狱, 它单纯只是赎罪而己.
My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.
我父亲教我工作; 他没教我爱它.
No man has a good enough memory to make a successful liar.
没人有足够的记忆力可以当个成功的说谎者.
When I hear a man preach, I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
当我听到一个人在讲道, 我想看他的反应, 假设他正在受到一群蜜蜂的攻击.
When you have got an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it’s best to let him go.
当你捉到一只象的後腿, 而它又想逃走, 最好让它走.
Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.
每当我听到有人为贩奴辩护, 我就有一种很强烈的冲动, 想让他亲身体验.
