西洋幽默语录(之六十五)
陶格拉斯杰洛德 (JERROLD, Douglas), 1803-1857
英国幽默作家, 剧作家, 和编辑
The best thing I know between France and England is the sea.
在英国和法国之间我知道的最多的一件事是海.
A conservative is a man who will not look at the new moon, out of respect for that ancient institution, the old one.
保守的人不敢望着新月, 这是出於对旧的、古代的机制的一种尊敬.
Dogmatism is puppyism come to its full growth.
武断主义是夜朗自大主义发展到极致.
Every rose has its thorn: you never find a woman without pins and needles*.
每朵玫瑰都有刺: 你找不到一个女人是不带扣针和缝针的. (*注: Pins and Needles, 有麻痹之意)
God said: ‘Let us make man in our image’ and Man said: ‘Let us make God in our image’.
神说: ‘让我们造人如我们的形象’; 人说: ‘让我们造神如我们的形象’.
He was so benevolent, so merciful a man that he would have held an umbrella over a duck in a shower of rain.
他是那么慈悲为怀; 他会拿把雨伞来遮大雨中的一只鸭子.
I’ve heard him renounce wine a hundred times a day, but then it has been made between as many glasses.
我听他发誓不沾酒一天不下一百次, 但这是他在很多杯酒之间发的誓.
If an earthquake were to engulf England tomorrow, the English would manage to met and dine somewhere among the rubbish, just to celebrate the event.
假如地震明天在英国发生, 英国人会在废墟间某处找个机会聚餐, 以庆祝这一事件.
In all the wedding cake, hope is the sweetest of the plums.
在每一个结婚蛋糕, 希望是所有葡萄乾中最甜的.
In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy.
在婚姻上, 正如在战场上, 对於你的敌手, 你是允许乘虚而入的.
It seems so easy to be good-natured I wonder anybody takes the trouble to be anything else.
看来做好人是那么容易, 我好奇有没有人不怕麻烦做些别的.
Love is like the measles – all the worse when it comes late in life.
爱情好像天花, 在一生中, 越迟到来越惨.
Some people are so fond of ill luck that they run halfway to meet it.
有些人是那么的喜欢坏运, 他们跑到半途就遇上了它.
The surest way to hit a woman’s heart is to take aim kneeling.
打动女人之心最万无一失的办法是, 看准时机下跪.
They said a parson first invented gun power, but one cannot believe it till one is married.
他们说僧人发明火药, 但没人相信, 一直到他结婚之后.
To reform a man is a tedious and uncertain labour hanging is the sure work of a minute.
改造一个人是件繁杂而不肯定的工作; 吊死他则只需一分钟, 而且一定成功.
Wedlock’s like wine – not to be properly judged of till the second glass.
婚姻好像酒 – 在第二杯之前不可妄下评语.
Whatever promises a man may make before marriage, the licence is as a receipt in full.
一个男人在结婚前不论他发过什么誓, 此一结婚证书己被当作全部己付清的收据.
When a man exclaims that all mankind are villains, be assured that he contemplates an instant offer of himself as an exception.
每当有人宣称所有人类都是坏人, 可以肯定的, 他企图当下给自己当个例外.
