西洋幽默语录(之六十二)
罗拔印泽苏尔 (INGERSOLL, Robert Green), 1833-1899
美国律师, 作家, 和讲师
The church has always been willing to swap off treasures in heaven for cash down.
教堂随时愿意以天上的宝藏交换地上的钱财.
If I had my way I’d make health catching instead of disease.
假如我有办法, 我会让健康追上我, 而不是疾病.
If I owe Smith ten dollars, and God forgives me, that doesn’t pay Smith.
假如我欠史密斯十元, 而上帝原谅我, 这并不表示我没欠史密斯.
Many people think they have religion when they are merely troubled with dyspepsia.
很多人以为他们有了信仰, 其实他们只是患了忧郁症.
A mule has neither pride of ancestry nor hope of posterity.
驴子既不以祖先为荣, 也不对后代存有希望.
Religion has not civilized man; man has civilized religion.
宗教并不使人文明; 人文明了宗教.
华盛顿爱文 (IRVING, Washington), 1783-1859
美国短篇小说作家和散文作家
I am always at a loss to know how much to believe of my own stories.
我常常不知所措, 对自己的故事到底信了多少.
A sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use.
好的口才是唯有的一种刃器, 用得越多越锐利.
Whenever a man’s friends begin to compliment him about looking young, he may be sure that they think he is growing old.
每当朋支恭维他看起来年青, 他应该有自知之明, 他们是觉得他老了.
Young Lawyers attend the courts, not because they have business there but because they have no business anywhere else.
年青的律师上法庭, 不是因为他在那里有工作, 而是因为他们在其他地方没有工作.
