西洋幽默语录(之一百一十八)
伏尔泰 (VOLTAIRE), 1694-1778
法国政治哲学家, 历史学家, 讽喻作家, 剧作家,
散文作家, 和小说家
Animals have these advantages over man: they have no theologians to
instruct them, their funerals cost them nothing, and no one starts lawsuits
over their wills.
动物较人有这些好处: 它们没有神学家来指导它们, 它们的葬礼不花它们分文, 而且没有人会为它们的遗嘱闹上法庭.
The art of government consists in taking as much money as possible from
one class of citizens to give to the other.
政府管理的艺术包含, 向一个阶级的市民榨取越多越好的钱, 以给予另一个阶级的市民.
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures
the disease.
医疗的艺术包含, 一面给予病患快乐, 一面让自然治好病.
Common sense is not so common.
普通常识并不那么普通.
England has forty-two religions and only two sauces.
英国有四十二种宗教, 却只有两种调味酱.
Every species of mankind is good except the bore species.
每一种人都好, 只有令人厌的那种例外.
God created woman only to tame man.
上帝创造女人只为了驯服男人.
Heaven made virtue; man its appearance.
上帝创造道德; 人, 它的外表.
The Holly Roman Empire was neither holy, nor Roman, nor an empire.
神圣罗马帝国, 并非神圣, 亦非罗马, 更非帝国.
The husband who desires to surprise is often very much surprised
himself.
期望得到惊奇的丈夫, 时常会大大的出乎他的预料之外.
Ideas are like beards: men do not have them until they grow up.
创意好比胡须: 人长大后才会有.
I know I am among civilized men because they are fighting so savagely.
我知道我是文明人, 因为他们斗得那么野蛮.
I was never ruined but twice: once when I lost a lawsuit, and once I won
one.
我从不曾被毁, 除了两次: 一次当我输了官司, 另一次当我赢了.
If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent Him.
如果上帝不存在, 就有必要创造一个.
Illusion is the first of all pleasures.
妄想是所有快乐之首.
The infinitely little have pride infinitely great.
无限的小自尊无限的大.
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
婚姻是唯一公开给懦夫的冒险.
The multitude of books is making us ignorant.
书的多元化使我们无知.
