西洋幽默语录(之一百一十六)
马克吐温 (TWAIN,
Mark), 1835-1882
美国幽默作家和智者
It is a difference of opinion that makes horse races.
因有不同的意见方有赛马.
It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to
refrain when awake.
这是我一向的规律, 睡时绝不抽烟, 醒时绝不离烟.
It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu
speech.
我常花超过三个星期去准备一篇好的即兴演讲.
It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful
to miss it.
发现美洲再好不过, 但若失之交臂, 则更好没有了.
It would have been foolish to stand upon our dignity in a place where
there was hardly room to stand upon our feet.
如果没有立锥之地, 却要坚持我们的尊严, 那是愚蠢的.
Let us be thankful for the fools; but for them the rest of us could not
succeed.
让我们感谢愚笨的人; 只因有了他们, 我们才会成功.
Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old second-hand
diamonds than none at all.
让我们不要斤斤计较; 有一颗旧的二手的宝石, 总比什么都没有好.
A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned
out for what he knows.
一个人因他的信仰而进入教堂, 却因他的了解而走出来.
Man is the only animal that blushes – or needs to.
人是唯一会脸红的动物 – 或需要如此.
The man who can’t tell a lie thinks he is the best judge of one.
一个不会讲骗话的人以为, 他是认定一个骗子最佳的裁判.
The man who is a pessimist before forty-eight knows too much; the man
who is an optimist after forty-eight knows too little.
四十八岁前, 他是个悲观主义者, 因为他知道的太多; 四十八岁后,
他是个乐观主义者, 因为他知道的太少.
Most writers regard truth as their most valuable possession, and
therefore are most economical in its use.
大多数作家把真实当他们最宝贵的财产, 因此用得最为节省.
Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits.
没有比别人的习惯更需要改造的了.
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink
what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.
保持健康的唯一途径是, 吃你不想吃的, 喝你不想喝的, 做你不愿意做的.
Our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the
monkey.
我们的天父创造了人, 因为他对猴子失望.
Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.
巧妙的对答是我们迟了二十四小时才想到的.
