西洋幽默语录(之一百一十一)
佐那丹史怀特 (SWIFT, Jonathan), 1667-1745
英国讽喻作家, 神学家, 和文士
Argument is the worst sort of conversation.
争论是最差劲的一种谈话.
Censure is the tax a man pays to the public for being eminent.
被人捡举是一个人出名所应付给公众的税.
Elephants are always drawn smaller than life, but a flea always larger.
大象常常被画得比真实的小, 但跳蚤常常被画得较大.
Every man desires to live long, but no man would be old.
每个人都想活得长命, 但没有人希望老.
The greatest advantage I know of being thought a wit by the world is that it gives one the greatest freedom of playing the fool.
我知道被世界认为是一个智者最大的好处在於, 它让你有最大的自由玩世不恭.
How is it possible to expect mankind to take advice when they will not so much as take warning?
当人类并不太接受警告, 怎么可能要求他们接受劝告?
Wit in conversation is, in the midwives’ phrase, a quick conception and an easy delivery.
谈话中的机智, 用接生婆的话是, 一种快速的怀孕, 轻易的生产.
When a true genius appears in the world you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him.
当一个真正的天才在这个世界出现, 你从这个迹象可以得知: 所有的蠢材都会结合起来针对他.
We have just enough religion to make us hate but not enough to make us love one another.
我们的宗教信仰只够让我们憎恨, 而不够让我们相爱.
We are so fond of one another because our ailments are the same.
我们彼此多么喜爱对方, 因为我们的烦恼一样.
Taverns are places where madness is sold by the bottle.
酒廊是把疯狂装在瓶里出售的地方.
The reason why so few marriages are happy is because young ladies spend their time in making nets, not in make cages.
为何只有这么少数的婚姻是快乐的, 因为年青的妇女把她们的时间花在造网, 而不是造窝.
Satire is a sort of glass wherein beholders do generally discover everybody’s face but their own.
讽喻是一面镜, 照镜人往往会发现每个人的面孔, 除了他们自已的之外.
Promises and piecrust are made to be broken.
发誓和面饼皮都是做来被打破的.
No man will take counsel, but every man will take money, therefore, money is better than counsel.
没有人要辅导, 但每个人都要钱, 因此钱好过辅导.
A nice man is a man of nasty ideas.
好人是满脑子坏主意的人.
If a man makes me keep my distance, the comfort is he keeps his at the same time.
如果有人令我和他保持一段距离, 我将感到舒服些, 如果他同时也和我保持一段距离.
If Heaven had looked upon riches to be a valuable thing, it would not have given them to such a scoundrel.
假如老天把富人当宝, 它也就不会让他们有这样的丑闻发生.
It is a miserable thing to live in suspense; it is the life of a spider.
吊在半空的生话是一件悲惨的事; 那是蜘蛛的生活.
The longer we live the more we should be convinced that it is reasonable to love God and despise man.
我们活得越长就越确定, 爱上帝和卑视人类是合理的.
Better belly burst than good liquor be lost.
肚皮爆掉又何妨, 不能让好酒流失.
The two maxims of any great man at court are – always to keep his countenance and never to keep his word.
法庭上每个大人物都有两个格律 – 永远保持泰然自若, 和绝对不要说话算数.
A man of business may talk of philosophy, a man who has none may practise it.
有事做的人可能会谈哲学, 没事做的人可能会实践它.
