西洋幽默语录(之八十一)
孟肯 (MENCKEN, H.L.), 1880-1956
美国编辑,评论家,自传作者, 辞书编者, 和讽喻诗作者
A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
法官是一个自改考卷的法科学生.
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
爱情有如战争: 容易开始,但很难停止.
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
对爱情的迷惑每个女人不同.
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
爱情是幻想战胜理智.
Man is always looking for someone to boast; woman is always looking for a shoulder to put her head on.
男人常找人来夸耀, 女人常找个肩膀来把头靠.
Men have a much better time of it than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.
男人比女人过得好, 有一点是他们较迟结婚, 另一点是他们死得较早.
The objection to Puritans is not that they try to make us think as they do, but that they try to make us do as they think.
反对清教徒不是因为他们尝试要我们和他们的想法一样, 而是要我们做如他们想的.
On one issue at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women.
至少有一件事, 男人和女人都同意: 他(她)们都不信任女人.
The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.
在法庭上笑罚六个月的监禁; 倘非有此一处罚, 陪审团将无法听证.
Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.
对十诫你说什么都好, 最终还得常回到一个快乐的事实, 那就是它们只有十个而已.
A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.
周日学校是个监狱, 在那里小孩苦读, 只为了满足他们家长的私心.
A teacher is one who, in his youth, admired teachers.
教师是一个在年青时羡慕教师的人.
Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable in terms of not worth knowing.
神学是一种以不值得知道的术语, 去解释不可知的现象.
There is no record in human history of a happy philosopher.
人类的历史从没过有一个快乐的哲学家的记录.
’Tis more blessed to give than to receive; for example, wedding presents.
施比受更幸福; 例如结婚礼物.
The typical actor, at least in America, is the most upright of men; he always marries the girl.
一个具有代表性的男演员, 至少在美国是如此, 是个最正直的人, 因为他总是和女主角结婚.
The truth that survives is simply the lie that is pleasant to believe.
真实的存在, 只因谎言是最乐得相信的.
Wife: a former sweetheart.
妻子: 前任甜心.
